Poverty and Racial Trauma do not Come from "Poor Decisions" we’ve made.

How are you feeling today?

I’m exhausted. But it’s not the kind of exhaustion that you feel on a long day of work but rather that compounding exhaustion that you know is sitting in your bones. This is how poverty and racial trauma show up for me.

Poverty and racial trauma do not come from “poor decisions” we’ve made. That’s what society will have us believe. They come from living in a world of white supremacy and fighting against systems of oppression our whole damn lives. That’s why you’re exhausted.

This is due to years of living under oppressive systems where I know families like mine have faced injustice; have had to navigate situations of extreme poverty; of having to live with the bare minimum because there was always an oppressor pocketing the profits of the hard work of my parents and grandparents. And really many of our familias... who worked for pennies while making the rich richer. All the years of not counting with the resources that a child needs. And having to witness my parents be discriminated against. Or ridiculed in school by teachers because I didn’t speak English “well.” I’ve learned to recognize when all of this trauma is knocking at my door. I’ve learned that it’s the long-term effects of colonial trauma and of living in a system that centers whyteness and has never been just to people of color.

Today I cried on and off, as I have done on other days as well. I’ve learned that this comes from a deeper place and that it is okay to share with others and to be extra compassionate to myself. It’s been hard to allow myself to receive compassion and help but I am getting better. I now know that a lot of what I am feeling, what we are feeling—comes from deep wounds of inter-generational trauma and I am still healing from it.

The difference is I now know where it all comes from—and it is NOT from “poor decisions” I’ve made or any that you have made. I have learned to center myself and take up space and this is how I show up today. These past weeks have moved all our emotions & I know we will all come out better in the end. For now it’s necessary to cry it all out when we have to, recharge and keep at it. This is a long fight, so rest and care is critical. ❤️